Explorations In Travel- Commit To The Step

One day while checking email I opened a message from a particpant on one of our past trips. Brenda* had written to tell me that she had taken my advice and was getting a divorce. I turned to my partner John who was working at his desk and told him about the message. "Debbie," he frowned, you shouldn't be telling your clients to get divorced."

Later that evening I called Brenda. "Sorry to hear about your divorce, I said, but it sounds like you're happy with your decision, but ah.....I don't remember telling you to get a divorce, in fact I don't remember talking about your husband, except in regard to the weather."

Brenda's husband had followed our itinerary on a weather website and would provide Brenda with daily forecasts. It had become something of a playful joke among us, "What's Frank say we're in for today?" someone was bound to ask.

"Well you didn't exactly, Brenda responded, "not in so many words anyway. But you told me to commit to the step." "

That was a conversation I did remember.

It was Brenda's first time joining a travel group, and her first time doing any hiking. Like many of us trying something for the first time, she was nervous and unsure of herself. Couple that with a childhood during which poor health had limited her abilities and caused her parents to caution her constantly about 'hurting herself', and Brenda had plenty of mental obstacles to overcome before she'd feel safe trying something new. We were hiking in Virginia and had just arrived at a lovely waterfall. A small rocky path led down to a pool which afforded even better views of the torrent and rainbowed mists coming off of it.

My co-leader offered to lead the way to the pool. Brenda wanted to go, but was obviously nervous about her footing on the trail. I walked with her and watched as she tentatively placed her hiking boot clad feet on rocks and roots. One of the rules of hiking on rock is that the more contact between the sole of your shoe and the rock, the more friction produced and the less likely you are to slip. Start tip toeing around or leaning away from where you want to go and....zip....your feet slide out and down you go. I explained this to Brenda and showed her how she should stand up straight and put her weight on her foot, "commit to the step" I said, "you're less likely to slip."

" Frank is a nice man, Brenda told me, " most people can't understand why I'd want to be on my own. But I've never really been on my own. I've always had someone telling or suggesting what I should do. Even those phone calls about the weather were part of it. Frank couldn't control the weather, but he could be 'in charge' of making sure I knew what it was going to be."

Many women joining us on an adventure discover abilities, talents and skills they never knew they had. Joining a group of strangers for a holiday is a big step for many women to take. Hiking on rocky trails gets easier when you understand that it's your fear that is most likely to cause you to fall, not your confidence and purposeful strides.

After 25 years of marriage and raising 2 children, Brenda had decided it was time for her to stretch her own wings and see what heights she could attain on her own. She had made a decision and was committed to it, a decision she seemed content with a year and a half later when she joined another of our adventures.

I'm thrilled that our adventures encourage women to reach for their dreams and learn that walking slippery paths is definitely easier if you 'commit to each step'.

*Names and locations have been changed to protect the committed.